Be Not Afraid

Fear is a very common experience when discerning religious life. It can also threaten to paralyze our discernment journey.

What will my future look like? Will I get to see my family? What happens if a loved one becomes seriously ill? What happens if I get a ministry assignment I am not happy with? What happens when I need new shoes? What happens if I fall in love? Will I be able to have hobbies? What happens to my savings and retirement if I leave my career to enter religious life? What happens if I enter religious life and discern that it is not for me?

These were some of the questions I had when I was discerning about 12 years ago, at the age of 33. Not surprisingly, I also hear many of these same questions from discerners of all ages today.

Choosing any life path, whether it’s marriage or religious life, requires us to accept a certain degree of mystery and uncertainty about our future. Consequently, any path we choose will compel us to place our trust in God.

Having pondered the numerous questions I initially had about religious life, I realized they all seemed to converge on a single central question: will I be secure if I take this step?

Naturally, our survival instincts want to take over, prompting us to weigh the costs and risks associated with the path(s) we are discerning. This not only threatens to intensify fear but also to paralyze our discernment efforts, as no path presents a future that can be precisely defined as our mind desires.

Fr. Jeremy Hiers, O.S.A., Augustinian Vocation Director

Fortunately, the Spirit helped me get move past my own paralysis by giving me the courage to bring my questions to a vocation director.

I found peace as I learned I wasn’t the only person with these kinds of questions. I also discovered the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience are lived in a way that differs significantly from my assumptions. Additionally, I learned the Augustinian emphasis on family.

I also came to see this was Augustine’s own story in Chapter 8 of the Confessions. His heart was restless, yet he became paralyzed in fear of not being able to live up to the path he felt drawn to. It was in learning how others lived the Christian life (e.g., Victorinus and St. Antony) that he was able to put his faith in God.

All this helped me develop faith that God would care for me through community, making religious life appear even more compatible with my search than I had initially imagined. It all began when I learned to ask questions early and often throughout discernment.

If you have thought about religious life, what questions do you have? Try writing them down.

Then consider signing up to talk to a Vocation Director or attend a Virtual Come & See event. The answers to your questions may surprise you, as they did me.