Testimonies Help Us Navigate Doubt During Discernment
- Augustinian Vocations
- 5 hours ago
- 2 min read
Doubt is a common experience during discernment.
I am not worthy.
I don’t have what it takes.
I am not like other people who joined a religious order.
I could never make the necessary sacrifices.
Interestingly, these were some of the same doubts Augustine faced in the events leading up to his conversion. He felt strongly drawn to the faith and the idea of surrendering all to follow Christ. Yet he felt paralyzed by his own weaknesses and attachments to his old way of life.
“I had found a precious pearl, worth buying at the cost of all I had; but I went on hesitating.” (VIII, 1, 2).
One of the major breakthrough moments for Augustine came when he heard the stories of other people who entered the faith from a similar state of life that of Augustine.
In Chapter 8 of the Confessions, Augustine the rhetorician shares his experience of hearing the story of the conversion of Victorinus who was a fellow rhetorician. Later he heard how two other members of the imperial court left their careers to become monks after they heard the story of Saint Antony.
Nearly 1,600 years later, Augustine’s story would inspire my own as I began to discern religious life. I began discerning religious life when I was in my early 30’s. I was 33 and a civil servant when I first read Augustine’s story, only to discover Augustine was in his early 30s and a civil servant when he converted. This discovery inspired me to reach out to the Augustinians.
Then when I contacted the Augustinians, I was connected to Fr. Joe Narog, a Friar who had also entered the order when he was in his 30’s in the midst of a successful Government career.
This inspired me to take the next step: a visit. A visit helped me see that I had more in common with the members of the congregation than not.
This led me to take the next step: ask to formally discern with the Order.
Are you drawn to the idea of religious life yet facing doubt? Perhaps hearing the stories of others who have followed in the footsteps of Augustine may help you discern if you are called to take a step towards discernment. Click here to find a variety of stories of those who left their former ways to enter Augustinian religious life.
You may also consider joining an online discernment group, where you will meet other Friars and also learn about the journey of others who are discerning.
Either of these may help you as you ask the question, am I called to be an Augustinian?
