Lord, Let Me Know Myself: Jugie "John" Bernardo's Journey to First Profession

Jugie "John" Bernardo in his white Novice habit.

When Jugie “John” Bernardo first met the Augustinians, he expected to learn about community but instead, he found himself learning about his own restless heart.

That discovery has become one of the defining themes of his vocation. As John prepares to profess his first vows as an Augustinian friar on August 1, 2026, he says the greatest gift of formation has has been discovering that authentic community begins with authentic self-knowledge.

"Our Augustinian emphasis on interiority is really making an impression on me," he said.

John's journey to that realization began long before he ever met an Augustinian. Raised in the Philippines by parents who had both converted to Catholicism before he was born, faith was woven into the fabric of his childhood. He still laughs about believing that Jesus and Mary were husband and wife because his parents affectionately referred to them as "Papa Jesus" and "Mama Mary."

As a boy, he joined the youth group at St. Sebastian Parish, though he admits he was more interested in spending time with friends than listening to the Sunday Gospel.

Life gradually deepened that childhood faith. The death of his younger sister during high school, followed a year later by his father's first stroke, forced John to wrestle with suffering at a young age. For a time, he drifted away from the Church, but an invitation to attend a non-Catholic worship service unexpectedly reminded him where he truly belonged.

"I attended that church," he recalled, "but there was something in me that told me, 'This is not your house.'"

He returned to St. Sebastian Parish and asked to become an altar server. That simple decision opened the door to years of ministry and under the guidance of his pastor, Fr. Nestor Romano, John became a master of ceremonies, helping lead the parish's liturgical celebrations while developing a deep love for the beauty of the Church's worship.

Even after immigrating to California in 2016, that desire to serve only continued to grow. In 2021, he was instituted as a permanent acolyte by Bishop Robert Vasa. Although he often imagined himself one day celebrating Mass, religious life still wasn't a concrete part of his plan.

Then, in 2024, Brother Justin Ma, O.S.A., introduced him to Fr. Philip Yang, O.S.A., who invited him to discern with the Augustinians.

John didn't answer right away. Instead, he spent three days on a silent retreat praying over the invitation.

"When the retreat ended," he said simply, "I said yes to the Augustinians."

What followed surprised him. Like many people, John assumed the defining characteristic of the Augustinians was community life. While that proved true, he discovered something even deeper lying beneath it.

Fr. Don Reilly, O.S.A., offered him a piece of advice that has remained with him ever since.

"Your interiority - knowing who you are, self-knowing and self-knowledge - is really important, because that is your gift to the community."

At first, the idea seemed almost backwards to John. Wouldn't community come first? Instead, John has come to believe that the two are inseparable. A religious community can only receive the authentic person each friar brings into it. The more honestly he allows Christ to reveal who he truly is, the more freely he can give himself to his brothers.

"If I don't know who I am," he explained, "then I cannot serve the people who I am living with."

That insight has made one of St. Augustine's most famous prayers deeply personal: "O Lord, let me know myself; let me know You."

Every conversation with his formators, every meal shared with the community and every moment of silent prayer becomes another invitation to look more honestly into his own heart, trusting that Christ is already waiting there.

"I still have a lot of baggage that I have to sort out in my heart," he admitted. "I believe that's where Augustine was able to find Jesus."

As his profession approaches, John is both "scared and happy" as he prepares. His joy comes from finally professing the vocation God has been patiently preparing for years. The fear comes from the weight of the promises he is about to make, the lifelong commitment to poverty, chastity, and obedience.

"Yet, I know that God will never leave me," he said. "And I have a lot of people on my side that can help me be faithful."

Looking ahead, John is eager to continue formation in California, deepen his understanding of the Augustinian charism, and learn from the wisdom of the older friars who have already walked the path before him.

When young men ask what they should do if they think God might be calling them, his answer is brief: "Be courageous."

Find someone you trust. Pray honestly. Take the next step.

After all, that's exactly how his own vocation unfolded, through through a series of quiet yeses that slowly led him deeper into his vocation. For John, that journey is only beginning. And he believes it begins where St. Augustine always said it would: within the human heart, where God patiently waits to be found.